writing exercise #2

so, our next assignment was to write another page of script, this time using a lot of new stuff that we learned in class: how to describe panel layout and format, verbally describing art direction and mood/tone, different visual cues, etc. and thusly, its a lot less dialog heavy than the first one. but a good step, i think.

--

[As continued after assignment 1, a few days later.]

1) [Establishing shot. A wide shot on a mostly deserted city street, made up of rows of dingy looking brownstone apartments and bodega style stores. Its early fall, heavily raining and cold. This top panel should be unframed and run the full width of the page, right to the edge. The background while they're out on the street should be fairly drab colors: blues, grays and browns. The few colors on the page should come from street lights, traffic lights, and neon store lights.]
[XX and XY are walking down the street, on the far right of the panel. XX is wearing a fully-buttoned jacket with the hood over her head. Her hands are held in her pockets with her shoulders shrugged tightly around her neck. She has a satchel style bag slung around her neck and shoulder. XY is wearing a scarf and jacket with the collar pulled up around his neck. He has a black umbrella held low in front of him with one hand obstructing his head and upper face from the reader and any prospective observers on the street.]

2) [They're both now walking towards the camera. XX is looking surly. The top of XY's face is still covered; you can see he's holding a small slip of paper with an address on it in his free hand.]
XX: I'm really glad you made me come to the far side of town in the freezing rain...
XX: ...AND you take my umbrella.
XY: Look. I really can't help that I have this extremely conspicuous branch sticking out of my forehead.

3) [From the side again. The door a few steps in front of him has the address that he's looking for scraped into the paint.]
XX: And I don't have any hats that could cover it. An umbrella was the only... (He stops himself when realizes he's right in front of the door he's looking for.)
XX: We're here...

4) [They're standing in front of the door next to each other; their backs to the reader.]
XY: I can't believe you're actually doing this.
XY: You scoffed when I told you to go to a doctor...
XY: ...but jumped at the opportunity to go to a some gypsy voodoo priestess.
XX: She's not a voodoo priestess...

[montage of small panels overlaying the main panel; all are views from inside the shop. The color palette should be much warmer, but still slightly dark.]
5a) [small square in upper left: Several small, irregularly shaped and sized bells jingle as the opening door hits them.]
5) [main panel: XX opening the door and walking in; pseudo-bird's eye view, as if looking down from the rafters.]
XX: (continued from last panel) ...She's a psychic.
5b) [small square along the bottom right: Jars of different shapes and sizes are up on a shelf on the wall; a series of cut jewels hangs from the shelf on strings.]
5c) [small square along the bottom right: Several brass scientific-looking instruments are on top of a console-style table with lots of tiny drawers on the front; a cat is asleep and partially hanging off the edge.]
5d) [small square along the bottom right: open books, news papers, and cards are strewn on top of an old wooden table; a cup of tea is sitting on the table near a chair, still steaming; there is a doorway behind the table with a fabric panel/curtain covering the opening.]

6) [Wide-angle panel, XX and XY (only shown from the shoulder up) are facing away from the reader, with their heads quickly spinning around to look the other way; both have expressions of apprehensive surprise.]
Voice (from off panel): Have a seat. Don't touch anything.
Voice (from off panel): ...damn kids...

--

ambur had some really good input that i need to name them... which i know is completely true. i have trouble writing and and keeping track of the xx/xy, let alone someone who is just reading it. but i think this is really a story that i want to continue writing (and drawing at some point), and i don't want to just slap names on them. i'd be afraid that they would get stuck in my head and wouldn't be able to see them as anything else. maybe i'll do some character studies (which i think we're learning about in class tonight) to flesh them out a bit more. maybe then some names will come to me. anyone have any suggestions?

mas holgas

a few shots from my last two rolls...

writing exercise #1

so, i turned in my first homework assignment for my comic writing class tonight. in the first class last week we focused on script writing and how a comic script should be formatted. which resulted in the below 6-panel script. the idea for the story started out as just a picture i had in my head, we'll see if it ends up going anywhere.

--

XX is in her early-to-mid twenties; a bit of a tomboy; medium height and build; she has medium length, straight dark hair with blunt bangs. XY is in his early-to-mid twenties; tall and slender; with medium length, tousled brown hair covering his forehead. They are roommates and have been friends since middle school. XY just awoke up to find a thin, foot long branch growing out of his forehead.

1) We open on them in mid-conversation; XY sitting up in his bed still under the covers. XX is sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed facing him, looking curiously at the branch. He is tenderly touching one of the sparse leaves growing off of it.
XX: So...
XX: ...you woke up, and it was just sticking out of your head?
XY: Its not sticking out. Its growing out.

2) She looks flippant and rolls her eyes.
XX: Yeah... sorry. GROWING.
XX: So, what the hell did you do last night that resulted in the sapling growing out of your head?

3) We now see XX face-on with the branch growing out at the viewer, going slightly out of focus.
XY: Its gonna sound retarded... but I had this dream...
XX (from off panel): ...here we go...

4) We see XX's black silhouette on a red background. His arms are outstretched, with his head split vertically from the crown down to mid-torso. Growing out of the split is a large full-grown tree with thick branches.
XX speaking in caption: It was so messed up. All I remember is having a headache that got worse and worse. And then my head felt like it just ripped apart and this HUGE tree just shot out of it...

5) She is flipping through a magazine, looking bored, not lifting her eyes while she speaks. He is still sitting on the bed looking up at the branch.
XY: ...I know there was more to it, I just can't remember.
XX: You know how boring it is to hear someone recount their dreams?
XY: Great. Thanks for the support...

6) She gets up, tossing the magazine on the on the bed as she leaves the room. He's scooted to the edge of the bed with his legs hanging off, ready to get up.
XY: Will you please leave so I can get dressed and figure out what the hell I'm going to do about this thing?
XX: Fine. You do have to give me some credit though...
XX (looking back with a smirk): ...I did avoid all of the the obvious "morning wood" jokes.

--

posting this actually makes me nervous. its odd for me to share something that i'm unsure of. i have no problem posting crappy sketches, but this, for some reason, feels different. hopefully that feeling goes away. my teacher will be reading it this week and returning it with comments. sort of anxious to see what he has to say...

gettin' my learn on

tuesday nights through october at the muse

Introduction to Writing Comics course description:
"Graphic novels, manga and comic books have become a major sector in the field of literature and a principal source of inspiration for other media. T Campbell presents a set of exercises designed to familiarize writers with this exciting and challenging form. We'll move from simple games like "fill in the word balloon" and word-balloon matching, to the basics of character design (for a visual medium) and page design (panel-count and other elements), to story breakdown (what happens on each page?) and script criticism, and end with one to three pages of full-fledged comics scriptwriting, reviewed in the class."

hopefully inspirational and entertaining.